The Case of the Invisible Congressional Seat #34
A revelation on the inefficiency of government.
This story is merely a trifle to illustrate a point, one I think we can all, Democrats and Republicans alike, agree on: the general inefficiency of government.
After the 2010 census Texas was slotted to pick up four congressional seats. So of course, many with political aspirations began to speculate on where those seats might show up and who could run for them. One of those seats will most likely end up in the North Texas area, possibility Dallas or Collin county. If you are unaware, the process of adding congressional seats can be a lengthy one. Between political jostling and gerrymandering, what should be a simple procedure can be drawn out for months. In Texas, it could be the end of the year before the Texas state legislature decides the exact areas of the congressional seats.
A friend and political associate, Dan Morenoff, approached me early in the year saying he hoped to run for the seat if it ended up in Dallas. He had already put together an exploratory committee. However, the process of getting the committee turned out to be more trouble than he originally expected.
Dan put together the paperwork for the exploratory committee (you have to register and let the government know when you even want to consider running for public office, mostly this has to do with fundraising because God knows we can’t do anything with our money without alerting the proper authorities). When Dan filled in the paperwork, he left the seat he was running for blank. Why? Because the seat doesn’t actually exist yet. This was not acceptable. The following is the conversation that took place between Dan and our trusty government worker [dramatic reenactment] via phone.
Gopher: I’m sorry sir, you didn’t list the congressional seat you are wanting to run for on your paperwork.
Dan: Yes, I know. I can’t list the seat because it doesn’t exist yet.
Gopher: Sir, I need the number of the seat.
Dan: It doesn’t have a number, yet. It will be for one of the new congressional seats in Texas.
Gopher: Sir, your paperwork is required to have a number on it.
Dan: I’m trying to explain that there isn’t a number.
Gopher: I understand that sir, but it’s required on the paperwork.
Dan: But I don’t want to list the number for an existing congressional seat. Then whoever has that seat will think I’m running against them, when I’m not.
Gopher: Sir, I can’t file this paperwork without a number.
Dan (after a quick google): Fine. There’s no Texas Congressional 34, so I’m running for that seat, will that work?
Gopher: Okay, seat 34.
Dan: Wait, so it doesn’t matter what number I give you? I could just make one up and you’d take it? Even if I’m running for seat 154,895th?
Gopher: No sir, that’d be silly.
So Dan is running for the invisible congressional seat, Texas 34th. Vote for/donate to him. Cheers to government inefficiency.


